August 26, 2009

Due to Popular Demand...

Well it’s been many months and I still haven’t wrote down anything that has happened since Byron Bay.  That is about to change!  As most of you probably know I left Australia on June 10th to return home.  My cousin Rochelle and my brother Steve both had weddings within weeks of each other, making my trip back very necessary.  I then went back to Australia, the third time in my life, on July 22nd, my mom’s birthday (she picked the date so don’t give me that look).  What I’m not going to do is tell you what has happened in my life between the time I left Byron Bay (end of April) to the time I got on those airplanes again (at least for now).  No, I’m going to tell you what I’ve been up to lately.

On the airplane from Detroit to L.A. I had a middle seat.  In the aisle seat a nice, quiet man sat.  The window seat was a different story.  A heavy-set, middle-aged, Middle Eastern man occupied that spot.  Most of the flight I was either reading (Jurassic Park, making it the third Michael Crichton book I read on flights going to or from Australia) or resting my eyes.  Both of these things seemed to be an invitation for this man to tell me about his wife, his kids, his job, his business in Detroit, whereabouts in L.A. he lived, and (why not?) his experience at strip clubs while he was away.  I would make contact with sympathetic eyes from those around me while he talked, eyes which seemed to say “Thank you Northwest Airlines, for not putting this man next to me.”

My other flights were much better.  After a couple hours wait and the last Burger King meal I’ll have in a while, I was on my way to Australia.  V Australia took me there and I couldn’t be happier with their services.  The food was good and the entertainment was great.  A huge selection of recent and older movies and tv shows helped the trek over the Pacific seem quick.  Some words of advice though: Monsters vs Aliens is not a good movie.

When the plane landed in Brisbane and I walked out into the terminal I felt warm and comfortable.  Australia.  The place I have called home for most of 2009.  The place I will continue to call home for the rest of the year.  It felt good to be back.

After getting through customs I took a shower in one of those handicap bathrooms.  Feeling refreshed and hungry, I went off to the domestic terminal and ate some Hungry Jack’s breakfast (Hungry Jack’s is the Australian equivelant of Burger King).  I had about 7 hours before my next flight to Cairns so I took a nap, which was the best sleep I’ve ever had in an airport before.

Flying into Cairns while reading Jurassic Park was really cool.  The look of it is so similiar to the movie that I could almost hear the theme music when we were landing.  I continued reading on the shuttle ride up to Port Douglas, the town I would call home for the next few months, expecting a T-Rex to burst out of the foliage and chase us down the highway.

I arrived at the Parrotfish Lodge and found John and Kyle with some people I’d never seen before.  Jo, Isis, Jack and Paulo shared their six bed dorm room.  Jo is an English girl who is travelling with Isis, a French girl.  They brought some kids over to Australia with a program, or something like that.  I still haven’t figured it out.  Anyways, Isis is leaving in a few days and so is Jo, but she’ll be coming back in a couple weeks.  Jack was only there for a few days but he was good fun, and a good ping pong player too.  Paulo is one of the first Italians I’ve met in Australia.  He has moved out though and is living at one of the resorts now.

When I first arrived the room had a mini fridge, a big shelving unit, lockers, a table and some chairs along with the beds.  Most rooms, my room included, only had beds.  Kyle and John had acquired most of this stuff over a two month period, so I would hang out in their room most of the time.  We all put in $13 to buy a futon at the Op Shop, a Salvation Army-type place.  Now there’s a couch in there too, and the table has been replaced by a coffee table.  Also, when I looked under my bed one of the first few days I was here, I found a set of speakers with a bass box as well.  So we set that up in the room and now it’s one of the greatest hostel rooms you can find.  I still live in a different room though; it’s nice to have your bedroom and living room separate.  John has figured this out and has moved into another room as well.

Okay, that’s good enough for now.  I’ll be sure to continue blogging and keeping everyone updated.  We’ll talk soon!

May 24, 2009

Post-Byron Days: Part 1

So, it’s been a month or so and you’ve been wondering what I’m doing.  You sit at home, click your bookmark to my blog site, and are consistantlydisappointed.  You refresh the website, because by God, I could be writing a new update and submitting it while you sit there staring at the screen for ten minutes, just jonsing for some more of my incredible tale.

Then, some day toward the end of May, you give up.  “He’ll never update it again,” you think.  But, in spite of your better judgement you deside to check just one last time.  You expect nothing, of course, but as the page loads you realize that it looks different than the last time you checked.  What has happened?  Well, I’ll tell you what happened, dear readers.  I’ve updated my blog.

I don’t really have a good excuse as to why I haven’t updated lately other than it was pure laziness.  Sorry.

I do have quite a tale for you though.  So much of a tale that I will have to split it up into at least three different posts.  This first post is something I like to call “The Teaser” as I won’t be sharing the story with you right now.  That is saved on a flash drive somewhere eight kilometers down the highway, and I have no desire to rewrite it all.  What I will share is some glimpses of what is yet to come.  Caravan parks, camping, male bonding, cliff jumping, guitar playing, job searching, shanty villages and a man named Cotton are all coming up in the next few posts, so please do not delete that bookmark.  I promise I will make it worth your while.

April 29, 2009

We're Off!

So, I haven’t posted in a while. Well, I’ll let you in on what’s happening. Kyle, John and myself are travelling with Ben, Simon and Rex in a van. We will be looking for work on farms. We will be camping most nights. That’s all I know right now, and I’m leaving in a few hours. My birthday went well. Bonfire on the beach and kayaking with dolphins. You know, standard stuff. The kayaking was really cool though. We were able to surf the waves with the kayaks, which is ten times easier than using a surf board (but ten times scarier when approaching large waves about to crash on you). So that’s my post. I’ll tell you more soon!

April 12, 2009

Delayed Updates

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to update you recently. The free internet that I was using got shut down so now it’s one dollar for every fifteen minutes online. This limits me to a few hours a week. I hope you understand. There’s news though. We’ve had some change-ups recently. The staff was getting too rowdy and the management didn’t like it, so a few people have been sacked. On top of Timo and Sandra, who left this week on their own accord, Chris, Rex and Dan have been sacked. Moritz is also leaving on Tuesday. Kat is staying until Thursday. The group is separating. While some good news comes with this (I now have a bottom bunk, complete with shelf) the departures are upsetting. Kyle, John and I talked about it and we’ll probably be leaving after my birthday, if not sooner. I would like to celebrate in Byron, though. We are now working for three hours a day every day. My shift is 1pm to 4pm. It’s a nice shift because often you find that a lot of the cleaning has been done already, so you just have to make sure everything stays clean. The Blues and Roots Festival is also in town. It’s a five day event that happens annually. Everything is booked up in the town, so it’s about as busy as Byron Bay gets. Alright, I reckon that’s about a dollar’s worth of info. I hope you enjoyed the update, and stay tuned. Hopefully I’ll get a nice long one going soon.

April 7, 2009
My brother Steve was able to find this rare photo of Nomad in his lair, just before he eats a beer bottle.  I don’t think the cameraman made it.

My brother Steve was able to find this rare photo of Nomad in his lair, just before he eats a beer bottle.  I don’t think the cameraman made it.

April 5, 2009

The Story of Nomad, the Large Disgusting Toad that Runs our Hostel

Well, I think it’s time.  It’s time for me to inform you about Nomad.  He’s a fat, human-sized toad that walks upright, though it’s more of a sway than a walk.  He smells of bile and hot garbage.  He says “Get back to work!” in his shrill, greasy, Nomaddy voice.  He’s the keeper of Nomads hostels everywhere.  He is the product of John, Kyle and me at our silliest.

When we were working one of our first days at the hostel, John brought up that he didn’t know what a nomad was.  Kyle and I informed him that it was a person who moved from place to place; a wanderer.  Exactly what we were.  John was surprised for when he thought of when he heard the word nomad was a giant, almost mythical toad that patroled the halls of the hostel.  When it catches us slacking off on the job he would say “Get back to work!  I’m Nomad!”  Then it would continue on.

Kyle and I loved this, and over the next 2 work hours we developed Nomad into a full character.  He was a gross, fat toad that ate anything, but mostly garbage.  His voice was a combination of Elmo’s voice and a dying cat.  He wore a pirate’s hat.  Every day he would go to the rooms of the hostel and eat their garbage.  Our job was to get the garbage ready for him, or else he’d get angry and cranky, and jump up and down in a fit of frustration.

We went on and on, putting him in different scenarios, situations and shenanigans.  For that first week every other sentence was spoken in Nomad’s voice.  We tried to explain it to a few of our new friends at the hostel so they didn’t think we were crazy, but we probably just confirmed it.  Actually, some other hostel workers are now making the Nomad noise.

Unfortunately I cannot explain him well enough.  I feel like I’m leaving things out that are essential for knowing Nomad, like that every day the garbage is placed in front of the door so that when Nomad enters, all he has to do is fall forward and his face would land in the rubbish bin.  The clocks on the wall will have a picture of his face at the time he’s supposed to come.  I feel that’s important to know.

That’s all I have for you today; I felt that Nomad deserved his own blog.  I will be writing more in the next couple days.  There’s something else you have to know about, something much less weird.  You need to hear the song that every staff member sings in the hallways of our hostel.  You need to learn the “All My Stuff” song, written by John, Kyle and myself.  Until next time!

April 3, 2009
This is where John and I sleep.  That’s my milk crate with all of my stuff in/hanging off of it.

This is where John and I sleep.  That’s my milk crate with all of my stuff in/hanging off of it.

John’s shelf.  I wish I had a bottom bunk.

John’s shelf.  I wish I had a bottom bunk.

Kyle also has a shelf.  Lucky guy.

Kyle also has a shelf.  Lucky guy.

April 1, 2009

A Day in the Life of a Nomads Odyssey Housekeeper

Hello all! Yes, I realize that I haven’t written a blog in about 3 weeks or so. Internet is expensive here though, and these blogs can take some time to write. But I’ve come across some free internet, so I’m going to take my sweet sweet time updating all of you. Now my mom has told me that everyone’s under the impression that it’s all just fun and games over here in Byron Bay. Allow me to set you straight. This is what an average work day is like for yours truly: I wake up to the sound of my watch alarm. It’s 7:30am and I have a massive hangover. I reach for my water bottle; it’s half empty from when I was thirsty the night before. I then hop down from my top bunk and assess the room. There’s bags of goon (cheap, gross wine) and beer bottles lying here and there. A few balloons with faces drawn on them. Papers with guitar tabulature on them. It all depends on what happened the night before. Our room, Room 202, is the party room. It sleeps eight people on four bunk beds. Everyone staying there are staff members, along with Room 201 next door and Room 228 across the hall. Despite there being two other rooms the staff could party in, 202 is always rockin’. I don’t necessarily have a problem with it, except that if you want to sleep before 2am, you better put on some headphones and learn to sleep with the light on. Also, without fail, every morning our room smells like a hideous combination of B.O., booze and whatever everyone was eating that day. I then go off to the washroom. The shower, along with my water bottle, helps to cure the hangover. If I’m lucky I have time to eat before I start work at 8am. I don’t know why I got stuck with the early shift; mostly everyone else that day starts at 10am. I start off sweeping the lobby and common room, then move on to mopping. At 9:15 my other alarm goes off and I go to wake up Kyle, who in turn wakes up John. They completely rely on me since they don’t have any kind of device that has an alarm. After I finish mopping I’ll usually move on to vacuuming the corridors. I’ll also vacuum the rooms, depending on if the people in there are sleeping or not. The vacuum cleaner itself is like a proton pack; the bag goes on your back and the hose into your hands. I like to hum the Ghostbusters theme song while I vacuum. It’s the closest I’ll ever get to my dream job. If I’m not vacuuming I’m helping the 10 o’clock shift changing sheets on beds and cleaning rooms. This is the best job you can do. You will often find items left behind by backpackers too much in a rush to catch a bus to properly collect all of there belongings. I’ve gotten some body wash, conditioner, a pair of shorts, a couple of books, sunscreen, a towel and toiletry bag (both pink!), countless boxes of goon, a bunch of change, and more. Kyle and John, since they are on the room cleaning shift (10am is checkout time), are constantly finding “sweet scores”. If there isn’t much work to be done in rooms, I may just sit around in rooms talking to other travellers until one o’clock and I’ve put in my five hours for the day. Irene will keep you busy though. She’s the head housekeeper; a fifty year old flower child who has too much energy for so early in the morning. She’s assisted by Sharon, who always seems to have stayed up too late the night before, and Libby, who’s cool as nails. They’re a good crowd and it’s fun to work with them. On one special occasion (it was a Saturday) Irene called a staff meeting in Room 209. When I got there everyone who was on shift for that day was sitting on one of the king beds drinking Lime and Vodka drinks. It had just passed noon. I had a good day that day. When my shift finishes there are a few things that may happen. I may take a nap. I may read. I may play guitar (I’m learning!). I may go to the beach. I may, and probably will, do all of these things. Also, depending on how early I want to start that day (St. Patrick’s Day was an early one), I may start drinking. Drinking is a large part of the Byron Bay experience. If it’s a good night, I’ll be drinking beer. If it’s a cheap night, I’ll be drinking goon. Goon comes in large boxes, often 4 litres, for anywhere between ten and fifteen dollars. There’s one box that comes with 4.4 litres for $10. It is the closest I have found to the rumoured 5 litres for $9. It is a last resort drink though. Unfortunately, most nights are last resort nights. And Sundays don’t help; the hostel gives out free cups of goon. The party will start in 202. We’ve got a great group of people staying in the room. There’s Chris, a Swedish guy who loves raggae and getting completely smashed every night. Candis is a fellow Canadian from Winnipeg. She’s a photographer and has just recently gotten a job here. Sandra and Kathrin are German. Sandra is working at a travel place handing out flyers as well as the hostel job. Kathrin is supposed to be leaving the hostel in a week to travel with a Canadian girl, but we’re working on her. Rex is a 6’8 American from Montana. He makes Kyle look like a dwarf. Then there’s Kyle and John. They’re cool too. That’s only 202 though. In 201 there’s Timo, a German whose practically travelled the whole country already We were able to convince him to stay in Byron for a week longer. Kara adds to the Canuck roster. She’s the activities person and also crazy, but hilarious and awesome. Fransisco is a quieter guy; I don’t know too much about him. I don’t even know how to spell his name. Dave is an Irishman who works the night shift, but that doesn’t stop him from having a good time beforehand. Mauritz is German (they’re everywhere!) with a surfboard. He’s supposed to leave soon too. Simon and Ben (aka Cuz) are Welsh gentlemen who talk a mile a minute and don’t miss a beat when doing so. They both started to learn the guitar around the same time I did. They’ve actually started up a band. They call themselves No Water. Currently their only song is a cover of Wonderwall, but they’re working on their first original, “The Taps Run Dry”. “The taps run dry! The goon runs rich!” they sing. Keep an eye out for it. Then there’s 228. The interns are in this room. Susannah and Tuulia are from Finland, and Lisette is from Holland. They’ve been working at this hostel since it opened about a month ago, and at a different hostel before that. Also in 228 is Dan, rounding off the Candian staff members. Yeah, we’re taking over Byron. That’s the main group of people. Every night we’ll get together and drink, and drink for hours. New people will show up, since it is a hostel, and we continue to drink. Since we came to Byron Bay three weeks ago, pretty much every night has been a party. We’ll put our mattresses out on the balcony to sleep under the stars, we’ll steal milk crates to create storage areas for our stuff. So, as you can plainly see, it’s not all fun and games. It’s fun and games and more fun and more games. I’m having some of the best times of my life out here right now. I’m glad I could share a little bit of it with you, the people I care about. Until next time! I promise the posts will come quicker, but probably not as long. In the meantime, check out the photos of me on Facebook! I’ve been tagged in a whole bunch. And pass this blog onto whoever you think would get a kick out of it. I’m writing for the masses, after all.